There Are Only Four Good Thanksgiving Movies

Not too many movies have been made about one of the greatest holidays ever invented. In fact, of the handful of movies that have been made about Thanksgiving, there are only four good ones. That’s it. Only four good Thanksgiving movies. All others are crap.

And if you don’t agree, you can wipe that fucking dumbass smile off your rosy fucking cheeks! And you can make your own fucking list. So here are four fucking Thanksgiving movies you should be watching for fucking Thanksgiving.

1. Planes, Trains and Automobiles (1987)

Planes, Trains and Automobiles is one of the funniest movies of all-time and by far the best Thanksgiving movie of all time. It’s John Candy and Steve Martin in their prime.

What it’s about: Two strangers share a bed as they try and make their way back home to Chicago for Thanksgiving.

Favorite movie quote: “Those aren’t pillows!”

2. Addams Family Values (1993)

If you were a goth kid in the 90s Addams Family and Addams Family Values were probably your two favorite movies. Bonus points if you had the VHS from McDonald’s.

What it’s about: This fun family movie sees the Addams family celebrating the arrival of a new baby boy while Wednesday and Pugsley try to kill the child.

Favorite movie quote: “You have taken the land which is rightfully ours. Years from now my people will be forced to live in mobile homes on reservations. Your people will wear cardigans, and drink highballs. We will sell our bracelets by the road sides, you will play golf, and enjoy hot hors d’oeuvres. My people will have pain and degradation. Your people will have stick shifts. The gods of my tribe have spoken. They have said, “Do not trust the Pilgrims, especially Sarah Miller… And for all these reasons I have decided to scalp you and burn your village to the ground.”

3. Son in Law (1993)

If you want to know what the year 1993 was like, just watch this movie.

What it’s about: Pauly Shore and the mom from House on Haunted Hill return to her small farm town for Thanksgiving and pretend they’re engaged.

Favorite movie quote: “Your PC got harshed, right, ’cause your system heaps at the wrong parameter. So l toasted the dated directory, tweaked the P-RAM and reglazed your subroutine.”

4. ThanksKilling (2009)

One of the most talented men in Hollywood, Ryan Francis’ performance in ThanksKilling is one of the greatest of all time. Make sure to check him out as ‘Camping Victim’ in the classic movie The Biker Warrior Babe vs. The Zombie Babies from Hell.

What it’s about: A homicidal turkey kills a bunch of college kids during Thanksgiving break.

Favorite movie quote: “Gobble, Gobble, Motherfucker!”